How do you describe yourself?  How do others label you?  The  words you choose shape how we think about others — and how others think about us.

The most powerful words on the planet are the ones we use to describe ourselves.  We might not even be aware of what those words are — or where they came from.  As DaVincis — multi-talented people juggling many ideas and projects — we are likely to have internalized others’ complaints about our diverse activities.  “Dilettante!”  “Flake!”  “Irresponsible!”  “Unrealistic!”  “Grandiose”  “Dilly-dallier” are just a few of the brands we’re apt to have attracted.

One helpful task in Julia Cameron’s Vein of Gold is a two-part activity that addresses these negative labels we may harbor deep down.  The first part of the assignment is to identify ten of the derrogatory labels we recall from childhood.  You know — those hurtful things someone branded us when we were young — things like “dreamer” or “foolish” or “not focused”.  Those spoken syllables that chided us when we were too naive to know that such descriptors were just that person’s opinion — and probably said more about that person’s issues and personality than it did about our own.

The second step Cameron prescribes is to convert these negative labels into something more positive, helpful…and probably more accurate.  For example:  “Dilettante converts to interested in many things.  Dreamer converts to powerfully imaginative…. Eccentric converts to original.”

It takes courage to dredge up the complaints that people had about us when we were children.  For example, my father used to call me “Lady of Leisure”.  I don’t know why.  I had a ton of extracurricular activities and part-time jobs and volunteered on top of it all. Yet every time he caught me daydreaming, he’d call out, in a teasing sing-song voice, “Hello, ‘Lady of Leisure’!”  He probably meant it jokingly, but it stung every damn time he said it.

Or, I distinctly recall the afternoon when one elementary school chum, with whom I’m still pals, expressed her exasperation that I “start all these different projects and never finish any of them!”  Now the truth is that I started many different projects and I finished many of them — and the cosmic Truth is that no-one HAS to finish EVERYTHING they start.  In fact, the physical reality is that it’s absolutely impossible to do so.

It’s painful to reflect on those labels that stuck through adulthood — in my case, things like being called ‘intense’.  I don’t enjoy being branded ‘intense’.  It makes me wince.  And yet, when I think of the people in my life I would describe as being ‘intense’, I don’t mean it as a complaint.  For them, I think of ‘intense’ as a synonym for ‘passionate’ or ‘scary smart’ or ‘focused’.

Which leads nicely into the second part of the Cameron exercise:  turning, in her words, “dross into gold”.  Reframing the negative labels into something more helpful and positive.

This is a very gratifying — and beneficial — activity.

Okay, my dad implied I was ‘lazy’, but really, any downtime he witnessed was me “thinking” or “reflecting” or “imagining” or, in my own way, “trying to heal”.

My schoolchum thought I was a flake (and probably still does), but I’m perfectly content to be called “interested in many things.”  It’s true!  I am interested in many things!  I’ll shout it proudly!

When I’m slammed for being ‘intense’ in the future, I’ll translate it internally as a complement that I’m passionate, smart and/or focused.  I’m comfortable with any of those three descriptors.

And that’s the point:  when we can re-label ourselves in a more positive light, we feel better about ourselves and whatever we’re doing.  Our quirks become ‘features’.  Our ‘secret shame’ becomes a ‘hidden strength’.  THAT’s the power of words.  We can wield words to heal ourselves.

Try it yourself:  see how transformational it is to identify the negative labels you’ve internalized, to exorcise them and to transform them into more helpful, pleasant entities:

1.  write down ten negative labels you recall from childhood.

2.  convert these negative words into more helpful interpretations of your behavior.

Bonus activity:  post your ‘golden words’ places you will see them.

What about you?  What unhelpful labels have you been branded?  What’s a different way of looking at them?  What happens when you re-frame these negative words?

***

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I heard about ‘Unstuck’ — a free iPad app — at a time when I was very stuck.  I thought, “Perfect!”  It’s a program that’s supposed to be like a self-coaching program.  A free self-coaching program?  One lauded by the venerable folks at Lifehacker.com.  Who could resist? I downloaded ‘Unstuck’ from the app store and took it for a test-drive.

Basically, you type in your ‘stuck’ issue and answer the subsequent questions.

It’s pretty.  The graphics are lovely.

It’s interesting. It’s cool to see your own situation play out, as if your issue is the plot of a computer game.

In my experience, it wasn’t very accurate or helpful, however. The resulting ‘diagnosis’ was way off.  The suggested tool was basically a repetitive asking of ‘why?’ — which only gets you so far.

Mind you I only tried it once, for one ‘stuck’ issue.  I might well try it again, out of curiosity.

Hey, it’s free — it only costs your time to test it with any ‘stuck’ situations in which you find yourself.  For me, it was a far cry from coaching — when someone’s actually listening to your specific issue and guiding your thought processing appropriately.

So you may well give it a whirl.

Have you tried stuck?  How did it work for you?  Are there other similar apps you’ve tried?  We’d love to know about your experiences.

Are you feeling frazzled?  Stressed out?  Overwhelmed?  You’re probably trying to do too much.

If you want to do more, do less.

It doesn’t matter how massive or complicated your creative project is.  At a given instant, you can only focus on one aspect of it.

It doesn’t matter how many projects, activities and ideas you are juggling.  At a given instant, you can only do one thing.

“Oh no, not me,” you may insist.  “I’m a multi-tasker.  Right now, while I’m reading this, I’m also composing a song, thinking about a terrific new product line and texting my mom.”

No, you’re not. You may be toggling among those different activities every second…but at a given instant you are doing only one of them.  And by toggling so quickly among them, you’re not doing any of them particularly well.

Frankly, you’re being unnecessarily hard on yourself. It’s much easier to focus on one thing at a time.  And here’s the good news:  when you stop trying to do everything at the same instant — when you focus on just one activity at a time, you will get more done, more easily, with less stress.

Let me repeat that — on the off chance you’re, say, Skyping a client, weaving a tapestry and watching a DVD while you’re reading this.

Benefits of Focusing on One Thing at a Time

1.  It’s easy.

2.  You’ll get more done.

3.  You’ll get things done more easily.

4.  You’ll reduce stress.

5.  You’ll feel better.

6.  You’ll be more pleasant to be around.

How to Focus

1.  Identify and remove distractions. 

What interrupts your focus?  Be candid. Is it email?  The phone? Internet surfing?  The piles of half done projects piled around you?  Your ‘to do’ list(s)?  Twitter?  Facebook? Flipboard or Zite or Angry Birds or any of the other 10,000 apps on your iPad?  Other people?

Take a moment to write down what tends to interfere with you sticking to one thing at time.  Now, brainstorm ways to remove or reduce those temptations. Schedule time at the end of your workday to do those things that need to be done (e.g. check your email, return phone calls, etc.)

2.  Pick something to do. 

What’s your top priority right now?

3.  Set a timer for 50 minutes.

Devote the next 50 minutes to doing only your top priority.  If something else comes us — let’s say you get a great idea, make note of it quickly, then get right back to the task at hand.

4.  Give yourself a break.

Take five or ten minutes to do whatever you need to do — rest, eat, jump up and down, stretch, feed your pet, stuff a load of laundry in the washer, read, listen to a great song — whatever.

5.  Reset your timer.

Focus on your top priority for another fifty minutes.  This might be the same task you were working on in the previous focus session — or it might be a new priority.  You choose what makes sense for you do work on for this next fifty minutes.

6.  Take a break.

7.  Repeat. 

Try this “Focus” approach this week and see how it works for you.

***

What about you?  What helps you focus?  What benefits do you notice when you stop multi-tasking and concentrate on one thing at a time?

***

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Taking Stock Department – I recently passed a big birthday with a zero after it, which prompted me to play the “woulda coulda shoulda” game even bigger than I normally do. Like a lot of other DaVincis, I often ruminate about the roads not taken, the accomplishments that “should” have happened by now and all the time I’ve wasted.

While I am able to stick my head in the sand for long periods and pretend that time is not passing, big milestones force me to face facts. My next college reunion is coming up (again with a zero after it), and while I am childless, many of my classmates have children who are now attending or (GASP!) graduating. There was that aforementioned birthday, which I tried to ignore but which multiple bouquets of flowers (giving an unintended but decidedly funereal air to my living room), some with cheery balloons reading “Over the Hill” made impossible. And then I learned that the ad agency where I had my first job out of college was leaving its venerable old building on Madison Avenue after 85 years.

I was devastated. I loved that place, and still popped in when I was in New York to see the few remaining colleagues from the old days, or just to stand in the lobby and reminisce. Now I was getting so old that even my nostalgia trips were moving on.

That first job, as a copy trainee at Young & Rubicam, was a plum that I beat out hundreds of Ivy-League applicants to get. It was the beginning of a promising and, as it turned out, successful advertising career. But now after the passage of time, a decade abroad and other unexpected twists and turns, I am a solopreneur. I’m happy…but I often look back and wonder if what I have made of my life is worthy of my lofty career beginnings. Had I done enough? I never liked my own answers to that question.

A week or so after the news of Y&R’s impending move, a 41-year-old woman who worked there stepped into one of the elevators. The doors closed on her leg before she was fully inside. The elevator dragged her up between the car and shaft two floors as the other passengers watched in helpless horror. Her death made the front pages of all the New York papers and wrenched my heart 3000 miles away.

It could have been me. Those elevators had always been treacherous. More than once when I worked there, the doors had opened on the 8th floor, but the car was still on the 5th or 6th.

That woman went to work that day thinking that she still had 40 or maybe 50 years to accomplish her dreams. But she never got to be anything but an advertising executive. Exactly what did I have to regret or complain about?

I’m still here. And there is so much I can still do. The whining stops now.

*          *          *

What about you?  Are you beating yourself up for not having done enough, or because you think “it’s too late” ? What could you accomplish if you just start NOW?

*         *          *

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Yes, he’s a talented actor who has performed in top TV (Third Rock from the Sun) and films (A River Runs Through It, Brick, The Lookout, (500) Days of Summer, Inception).  He’s written and produced short films including Sparks based on an Elmore Leonard story.  He sings and plays guitar.

But he’s having a much bigger impact that most multi-talented DaVincis.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the creative force behind hitRECord — an online community of 10,000 “writers, musicians, filmmakers, video editors, animators, photographers, photoshoppers, and illustrators” working together to create CDs, DVDs, books, images, live shows, films, animations and more.  It’s a creativity nirvana — mad talents combining in unexpected ways.

Click here to sample one fun collaboration — Joseph singing with Anne Hathaway — in French.

Have you been thrown off track?  Derailed?  Are you having trouble getting back on track?

I know what you’re going through.  When my mother passed away unexpectedly a few months ago, my professional life came to a screeching halt while I dealt with all that needed attention.  (I’m the only surviving member of our family.  Everything — the arrangements, the paperwork, the practicalities like dealing with her forty year old house and everything in it — has fallen to me).

As a DaVinci, I’m an expert multi-tasker.  But in this case, I became hijacked by all that needed to be done.  Never mind the emotional toll, the psychological impact and cognitive strain inherent in the situation.

It’s been unsettling to see how off kilter I got thrown.

It’s been more troubling to see how challenging it’s been to get back on track.

Turns out the cliché is completely true:  A body at rest stays at rest.  Once the momentum is gone, it’s challenging indeed to start up again.

Frankly, I struggled.  It’s not enough to ‘know’ different techniques to get started after being derailed.  One has to apply them when every fiber of your being is resisting.

I’m well aware of what’s worked for me in the past — using a timer, using  the Unschedule, aiming to get back into it for only an hour a day].

For whatever reason, in this instance, I couldn’t make myself do any of it.

I was derailed.  And stuck.

I was too embarrassed to talk to people about my paralysis.  I sought secret help.  I consulted Lisa Rothstein’s excellent Procrastination book.  I did some soul searching — what was going on here?

In the end, this is what I learned about overcoming derailment:

1.  Be kind to yourself.

It doesn’t help to beat yourself up or call yourself ‘lazy’.  If you’re reading this, you’re a smart, creative person with a lot going on.  Give yourself some credit.  Be kind to yourself.  Treat yourself like you would treat a  friend who’s going through difficult times. You are.

2.  Understand that you’ve been wounded.

Whatever’s happened to derail you — an illness, a loss, a move, getting fired, an unprecedented event — it’s like you’ve been scarred on the battlefield.  The wound might be physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual or all of these.  You deserve to convalesce.

3.  Start slowly.

Your initial goal should be simply to start.  Something.  Anything.  Just start.  Then reward yourself for starting.  Feel good about it.  Avoid judging the size or significance of what you’ve done.  Focus on any forward motion.

4.  Remind yourself of why you’re doing this in the first place.

What was your original motivation?  Does that still apply?  (If not, why are you beating yourself up, trying to do it?  Do something else).   If yes, what benefits are there to doing what you’re doing?  Literally write down as many reasons as you can.  Rekindle your original passion.

5.  Try doing something easy.

As DaVinci’s, we’re prone to tackle complicated things.  If you’re derailed, allow yourself to do something easy for a change.  Look at your ‘to do’ list.  What would be easiest?  Do that first.

Doing this may well give you the impetus to tackle something more challenging.  Use an easy task to initiate some momentum.

6.  Reward yourself.

Once you start to move forward, be very, very proud of yourself.  Believe me, I know how tough it is to get going after being derailed.  Any forward motion is to be appreciated and rewarded.  Give yourself the treats you richly deserve.

7.  Focus on gradual improvements.

As you get going, continue to focus on forward progress.  Baby steps, baby.  In all likelihood, once you get restarted, you’ll accelerate your progress faster than you imagine.

*          *          *

What about you?  What’s worked for you in overcoming derailment?  How do you get going again after life pushes you off track? 

*         *          *

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma™! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

A new TED talk confirms what I’ve always known…doodling is not goofing off, it’s a way to help you concentrate and think more creatively. For me,it keeps me present as I listen to what’s being said in a meeting or on the telephone by keeping my hands and eyes busy. And when I’m simply thinking something over, doodling becomes a form of  meditation. It’s a great stress-buster. I think it helps me solve problems. And every so often, I draw something that’s not half bad.

Take a look at the TED video below.

I’d never felt such abject fear in my life. I was a grown woman, but standing on that dock, I felt about 5 years old.  My knees were actually knocking.

I didn’t trust the beat-up resort dive equipment. I didn’t trust my instructor, a disdainful French woman who evidently felt that Americans weren’t good for much else besides shark bait.

Most of all I did not trust myself.

I’d been in scuba class all week, and it was finally time to go in the water. But all I think was, what if I didn’t step off the dock far enough, and the tank hit me in the head and I got knocked unconscious and drowned before mademoiselle could be bothered to see what happened to me? What if the equipment didn’t work, and I sucked and sucked but no air came out?

What if..what if….?

“Jump! Jump” shouted the Frenchwoman impatiently from the water.  (Actually it sounded more like “Zhooomp! Zhoomp” and as far as she was concerned I might as well have been standing on the ledge of a 30 story building. I was holding up her class. )

I could just back away, walk back up the dock and take off the gear, belly up to the bar and order something with an umbrella in it. But dammit, I wanted to do this, right?

The voice said, “What if.” And then another voice (more like my own) said “Oh, what the hell!”

And I jumped.

The second I hit the water my fear left me. Miraculously, the ancient equipment did not fail. But what really made me forget all about my terror: there were assorted little fish all around us, with colors I’d only seem in Disneyland. I was transfixed. Afterward, I was buzzing with excitement, I couldn’t wait until later that week, when we would go on our first real dive.

That day, my class and I all loaded onto the boat and went out so far we couldn’t see the shore. Unlike the dock, the boat was rocking and rolling on the high waves. Now my classmates were the ones who looked scared. But amazingly, I wasn’t. I’d had my panic and now all I wanted was to get into the water and see what was down there.

Mademoiselle was my dive buddy, since I was alone. But I’d grown on her a little once I’d had my freak-out and then aced the intro class. As the others hesitated on the deck, in I went.  We descended into another world.

I saw the most amazing sea life, and variety to make what I’d seen the first day seem like a scant preview. It was amazing. Mademoiselle took me by the hand and led me through caverns and over reefs pointing out fish and coral.

For the grand finale, she pointed at the bottom, a few feet below us. All I saw was sand. I looked at her and blinked and shrugged. She pointed again, and to my wonder, out of the sand a ray lifted up, looking like the Starship Enterprise, with a span of 5 feet at least. It swam away from us, and if my mask hadn’t already been half full of salt water, I would have cried.

On the way back to shore, I was never as high and as proud in my life. The instructor was now my bosom buddy. I had faced my fear and won. And I’d learned some valuable lessons I use in my creative work when embarking on a new project:

1.  The panic will come. It’s just a question of when. Expect it.
2. All the good stuff is on the other side of the fear.
3. If you want the good stuff enough, you can get past the fear. (If you don’t, you probably won’t bother.)
4. Taking action makes the fear go away instantly, like shining a flashlight under the bed gets rid of monsters.
5. Once you’ve made it past the panic point, you’ve won. You may be scared again, but even if you are it won’t be as bad.
6. Victory is much sweeter than if it had been easy and you’d never been scared.
7. Sometimes, you just gotta say “what the hell.” (Actually, you have to say this EVERY time.)

 Activity: Choose one project that you’ve been hesitating on. It can be something small. Maybe you’re reluctant to try your hand at something new. Or maybe you’re afraid to let someone you respect (or anyone!) see — and maybe criticize — your creative work. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it scares you enough to have you stuck. Now just say “what the hell” and take the next step. Notice what happens…and how you feel afterwards.

How do you deal with your fear of the unknown?  Fear of failure? Fear of success? Please share below! All comments get an automatic link back to your blog.

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma™! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

Peter Mark Roget is best known as the creator of the Thesaurus — for which all writers have been grateful since it’s original publication in 1852.  It is arguably the most important contribution to literature in the past 160 years.

Interestingly, Roget didn’t begin this important philogical work until he was in his seventies.

Prior to that, Roget’s talents were in the scientific realm.  He was a physician, an MD interested in improving public sanitation as well as bolstering medical education.  He wrote numerous papers on physiology and health.  He discovered the retina’s capacity for seeing a fast-moving “series of still images as a continuous picture” — the phenomenon that allows us to watch movies.    He  also developed the “log-log scale” for the slide rule.

Besides being a great example of someone wielding multiple talents, Roget is a shining inspiration for anyone concerned to focus on new talents, later in life.  Sure, he didn’t start his work on the Thesaurus until he was 70…but it didn’t matter.  He did it.  And he oversaw twenty-eight printings during his lifetime.  And he left a legacy as important today as it was in 1852.  It’s never too late to flex a talent…you just have to start.

*****

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In my coaching practice, I find most DaVincis (i.e. multi-talented people) are either ‘spenders‘ or ‘savers‘.  How you spend money  — or don’t — affects your finances, of course.  By recognizing if you are a spender or a saver, you can use proven financial tips to better manage your money.  How you spend money also affects other aspects of your life.  Knowing if you are a spender or a saver will give you insights into the state of balance in your life as well as your approach to your creative work.

First, are you more of a ‘spender’ or more of a ‘saver’?  You probably know already, but in case you don’t, consider the following descriptions.  Which one sounds more like you?

Signs you’re a Saver:

You minimize the money you spend.   Having money in the bank is important to you, so you contribute to your savings accounts faithfully.  (Yes, you probably have more than one savings account).  You live modesty, within your means.   You tend to save up for major purchases, rather than buying them before you have the money available.  You pay off your credit card bills in their entirety, every month.  Your finances are well organized.  You never pay late fees or penalties on your bills.  You clip coupons and you buy very few Groupons — just the rare ones you know you’ll actually use.   You are probably generous with your friends and family but you seldom spend money on yourself.  You rarely splurge.  Spending money makes you tense and possibly nervous.  You research like crazy before buying…and you probably subscribe to Consumer Reports.  You are susceptible to ‘buyers remorse’.  You go out rarely.  When you do eat out, you excel at bistro math — dividing up restaurant bills, including the tip, fairly and accurately.

Signs you’re a Spender:

When you get the urge, you splurge.  You don’t hesitate to purchase something you want — you buy it on the spot, whether or not you have the money available.  You might just be a shopaholic. You tend to spend more than you have in the bank.  You probably carry a balance on your credit cards from month to month.  You probably incur late fees and penalties on your bills.  Your finances would benefit from being more organized.  You buy Groupons often…and it’s not uncommon for them to expire before you have a chance to use them.  You are generous with your friends and family and also yourself.  When you’re feeling down, spending makes you feel better.  In fact, spending makes you feel very good — possibly even high. You tend to purchase on instinct, rather than research. You go out often and rarely consider the expense.  You leave the bistro math for the savers at the table and just plunk down whatever they tell you to pay.

Financial Tips for Savers:

The good news is that your finances are probably in reasonably good shape and well organized.  By definition, you no doubt have money in the bank.

One financial challenge you may have is fear.  If your frugality is rooted in anxiety about having enough money now or in the future, ask yourself why?  What is the source of your financial fears?  How realistic are they?  What events in the past have affected your beliefs about money?

A second financial challenge you may have is in actually spending money — especially on yourself.  You probably deny yourself simple pleasures and treats for no good reason.

To balance your money management, here are some financial tips for savers:

1.  Examine your beliefs about money.  Here are some questions to get you started.

2.  Establish a “play” fund — a reasonable amount of money (say 10% of your after tax income) that you must spend on yourself each month.  For fun.  Guilt-free.

3.  Establish an “education”  or “personal development” fund — if you haven’t already, set up a mechanism to invest in yourself.  Just as you sock away money into long-term savings as well as specific short-term savings goals (e.g. for a trip or a sofa), set up an account for your personal development.  This is money to spend on classes, courses, workshops, books, coaching, skill development, personal enrichment and so forth.

4.  If you haven’t already, set up a fund for ‘giving’ — say 10% of your after tax income.  It’s not financially healthy to save save save without circulating your money judiciously.

Financial Tips for Spenders:

The good news is that you probably treat yourself well and invest in yourself regularly.

One financial challenge you may have is in managing your money, including your financial paperwork.

Another financial challenge you may face is in moderating and balancing all the spending you’d like to do.

To balance your money management, here are some financial tips for spenders:

1.  Organize your financial paperwork.  Here’s how.

2.  Put your finances in order.  Here are some tips to get you started.

3.  Divide your after tax income into different discretionary funds so that all your financial needs are met.  Here’s an easy, proven technique to manage your money.

So what does this have to do with Life Balance?

How you do something is how you do everything.  How you manage your finances is analogous to how to manage your life and your creative projects.  If you tend to spread yourself thin financially, you’re probably spreading yourself thin over different life domains.

Life Balance Tips for Savers:

You are disciplined, almost to a fault.  You are probably very strict with yourself. It is challenging for you to put yourself first or to enjoy simple pleasures or guilt-free play.  Yet this is precisely what you need to do to achieve life balance:

1. Learn how to put yourself.   Here’s how.

2. Establish the habit of enjoying regular simple pleasures.

3.  Work guilt-free play into your daily and weekly schedule.

Life Balance Tips for Spenders:

Spenders tend to react to urges with splurges.  It’s difficult for you to plan or delay gratification.   To achieve life balance, you need to:

1.  Learn to prioritize.  Rather than spreading yourself too thin, develop the practice of pausing to identify what it is that is really, truly, deeply important to you.  Here’s how.

2.  Rather than reacting to whims and random urges, learn to devise and implement plans to accomplish specific things.

3.  Look for ways to implement structure to be more effective and creative.

*****

Activity: Clear some distraction-free time to answer the following questions:

Are you a “spender” or a “saver”?

What are the benefits you get out of being this way?

What are the costs?

What can you do to balance your financial management?

What can you do to achieve better life balance?

*****

In the comment section below, please describe your experiences as a “spender” or a “saver”.

*****

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma™! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .