Who Loves Ya?

by Liisa Kyle, Ph.D. on 11/24/2010

image via pexels.com

Are you fully appreciated?  Do you receive sufficient recognition for your efforts and talents?  I don’t believe this is true for any of my coaching clients. It’s not true for me either.

Let me give you a minor example:  I take a glass fusing class.  There is a communal kiln that everyone’s work is fired in.  Each week, my friend Kim and I unload the kiln of the pieces that have been fired, clean the kiln, transfer the finished pieces to the classroom, transfer the next batch of pieces to the kiln room and load them into the kiln for the next firing.  Week after week, we are the only students who ever volunteer to do any of this.  Do the other students ever thank us?  Heck no.  Instead of gratitude, what we get is umbrage.  (“Why haven’t my pieces been fired yet?!”)  Never mind that we don’t decide what gets loaded into the kiln in what order — we just carry out the decisions of the teacher.  Never mind that we lose half an hour of class time every week to perform this service.  Our classmates don’t think twice about our contributions to the class or what it costs us.  They don’t offer to help us or to take a turn loading or unloading the kiln.  Kim and I are the unsung, unpaid maids of the class.

Now I’ve embroidered this description with bitterness to make a point:  I have a choice.  I can stew silently about the situation or I can change it.  I could, for example, raise the issue with the teacher and/or the class.  Kim and I could simply avoid unloading or loading the kiln and leave it to someone else to do.  The truth is I don’t really mind tending the kiln loads…I’m just gobsmacked and disappointed by the ingratitude of my classmates — many of whom are fine, lovely people.

I’m grateful to them, however, because their thanklessness allows me to illustrate two points essential for DaVincis.

First, it often happens in creative or entrepreneurial endeavors that our talents and efforts go unappreciated and unrecognized.  How do you tend to respond when you aren’t receiving a modicum of appreciation or recognition?  Do you stew in silent resentment?  Do you raise the issue?  Do you take action to change the situation?  Why or why not?

___________________________________

___________________________________

___________________________________

What is the impact on you when you are unappreciated and unrecognized?  How does it affect you?  How does it affect your creative endeavors?

___________________________________

___________________________________

___________________________________

Think about a current situation in which you are not receiving adequate appreciation or recognition.  What would be the healthiest course of action for you and your talents?

___________________________________

___________________________________

___________________________________

It can be demotivating indeed to be unappreciated and unrecognized.  It can be a hard slog to continue creating — and to stay positive — when you’re in a situation in which you are being taken for granted. Alas, it ain’t easy to get others to fully appreciate you and your talents.  Where you can have an impact is on the extent to which you appreciate yourself.  And let’s face it, if you’re not fully appreciating yourself, you can’t honestly expect others to do so.

By cultivating healthy self-appreciation, you bolster yourself from the whims of others.  You can carry on creating for the sheer joy and value it gives you, irrespective of any external validation.  With that in mind, clear a few moments of uninterrupted time and answer the following questions thoughtfully and honestly:

What do you love most about yourself?

___________________________________

___________________________________

___________________________________

For what are you proud of yourself?

___________________________________

___________________________________

___________________________________

What do you appreciate about yourself that most people take for granted?

___________________________________

___________________________________

___________________________________

Activity: Tomorrow, set a timer for five minutes.  As fast as you can, write down as many things about yourself for which you are grateful, appreciative or proud.

Activity: Repeat the preceding activity every day. Give yourself the gift of daily self-appreciation.

*****

For more, check out my workbook: SELF-WORTH ESSENTIALS:  A Workbook to Understand Yourself, Accept Yourself, Like Yourself, Respect Yourself, Be Confident, Enjoy Yourself, and Love Yourself.

 

 

*****

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma™! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

 

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: